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Background:

Our Guru teaches us that the human soul (atma) is likened to a bride whose marriage or union with the Supreme Soul (Parmatma) is the ultimate goal of human life. Likewise, the marriage between a male and a female is a union of two souls. This union is initiated at the moment, when the groom carrying with him about seven feet long scarf holds one end of it in his hand and the bride is given another end to hold by her parent or a relative, in the presence of the Guru. This is a sacred moment for the bride and the groom and a giant leap towards reaching their ultimate goal.

It is also possible that a single soul can also achieve its final goal. But, our Guru has stressed the path of marriage as it keeps God's play playing. Marriage is the basis of this play. It is a blessed relationship. Without it, all human beings from the face of this earth will become extinct in a period of about a century or so. That will, of course, be contrary to the Will of God. Married life in essence becomes a Sadh-sangat (holy union) twenty-four seven if its lived according to the teachings of the Guru. And, Sadh-sangat is essential for reaching one's ultimate goal.

Laavan (rounds), four in number, are Guru's instructions to the soon to be Married couple for achieving their ultimate goal of union with the Supreme Soul (Parmatma). Without these instructions the couple is not declared married. In fact, Laavan are the marriage. They depict the four stages of human consciousness for God realization. They are recited and sung to solemnize nuptials. The Guru in His instructions gives a living account of each stage.

There is no set timetable to go through these stages in real life. It could be as short as a single moment, or as long as eternity. It all depends upon the married couple as to how closely they follow the Guru's instructions in married life. For the purpose of understanding the instructions of the Guru, the united souls or the couple-to-be-wedded is considered to be the bride of the Lord-groom (God).

Laavan (rounds):

The marriage rites begin with the first nuptial round -- Laav. It sets the stage for the union (marriage) of the bride with Lord-groom (God). It is Guru's ordinance for leading a happy wedded life. The emphasis given here is to remain ever absorbed in the Divine Name, and to hold fast to the spiritual, moral and social obligations. This endeavor is required to move successfully towards the ultimate goal of life. By singing the praises of the Lord, the bride can rid herself of all sins and evils. When the mind has become free from all sins and evils, the bride will find remembering God to be sweet, and she will feel blissful and ready for the next stage.

The second Laav (the couple makes the second nuptial round as the verse is being sung) makes the bride understand that her earlier endeavor has caused in the meeting of the True Guru. In the company of the Guru, the bride becomes free from all fears, and all the filth of selfishness and egoism is washed off her mind. By singing the praises of the Lord, a loving fear is developed in her mind and the presence of the Lord is felt everywhere. The bride now sings the praises of the Lord more than ever before. She also realizes that all beings are the manifestations of the Lord who pervades within and without. In the second Laav, the unstruck sound of the Shabad (Gurus word) is heard endlessly.

In the third Laav, the Guru advises the bride to long for the love of the Lord, and detach herself from the mundane world. Be in the company of the good and holy. Sing the glory of the Ineffable Lord in the company of the holy congregation. Dedicate yourself to the singing of His praises. The Guru declares that within this stage the unquenchable love for God sprouts in the heart and mind of the bride and she becomes impatient to be one with Him.

With the successful completion of the first three stages, the bride now achieves the union with the Divine with relative ease in the fourth stage. The union was possible only when the Lord found the bride absorbed in Him day and night. The bride also realizes that He Himself proposed and initiated the wedding ceremony and blossomed in her heart. She is now in ultimate bliss, and all the desires of her heart are fulfilled. She has achieved the ultimate goal in life.